attitudeHey, in case you haven't got the news flash -- let me just lay it out on the line. I am old. Most days I hurt when I get out of bed and spending 2 days back to back on my feet for 12 hours a day once a week makes my one day off a living hell. I don't wanna hurt and its not just my age (57), its the damned mileage. Parts wear out and so do mine apparently.
Solution (other than winning the lotto and hiring minions and boy toys to do all the necessities) is to keep gutting it out until I drop. Blood and guts -- for failure is not an option and I will go out on my feet or failing that, sneer at death as it comes for me in bed. But just because I am old do not make the misake of thinking that I can't and won't hurt you. What have I to lose? I've lived my life. Have you?
I look in my jewelry boxes. I have 5, spread the pieces out on my bed. A virtual display that would rival Ali Baba's hidden store of gems. They glitter all in a heap. Precious gold next to cheap rinestones and rough handmade beads on a strip of thong. Dyed macaroni bracelet on a string made in summer camp. A very bad rendition of an elephant in paper mache pin which is kinda pink because the grey didn't suit Auntie Kate.
I have always had a very weakness for pretty and shiny things. Thus if you didn't know what to get Kate -- the safe bets (other than wine or a massage and hot tub) were either plants or jewelry. Those pieces most precious to me don’t have monetary value, tho some of the pieces were they to be sold, have some value, they are as a rule, not my most precious.
Example - I look at a pair of cheap silver earrings, on a good day worth maybe $2.oo. My youngest sister Holly gave them to me. She passed on last year. Those along with another pair she gave me (amethyst in silver) and an inexpensive bracelet with green fake gems because I needed ‘flash’ when I moved to San Francisco -- are some of my most prized possessions.
Then there is the gold locket that my grandparents gave me along with a birthstone ring when I graduated from high school - their photos which I took with my brownie Hawkeye camera in black and white in front of the Christmas tree that year (I think I was maybe 13) is in that locket. Value maybe $10.00 - to me priceless. The gold inscribed bracelet given to my namesake by her husband (my great uncle) dated 1913 wrapped up with the gold milifore necklace given to me by one of my best friends Adele.
There are the crystals - those given to me by powerful ladies I love - Adele (again) - green for healing. Stacy - blue (the Family piece). Cinnabar, Topaz, Rose Quartz, clear crystal and obsidian. All gifts which bear the imprints of those sisters/brothers who gave in love, which mark and celebrate various stages of my life, trials, challenges, tribulations.
The silver crescent moon pendant I wear it next to my heart that my daughter Ali sent me one year...for that again there are no words. No there are no words for what I see. Every piece that evokes a memory of the giver there is no price. The setting of a price would cheapen the gift and the giver. For when there are no words --- it follows that there cannot be a price. Certainly one not paid for in anything but heart's blood. Some of the most valuable to me are cheap paste, some silver or gold. What difference does that make?
There are days I wear a poor cutout of a blue heart with silver glitter in a spiral pattern. My niece Christina made it for me when she was 8. And I am damned proud of it. How could I not be? She made it for her Auntie to 'keep her safe because she loved her". What more powerful magic is there in the universe than the pure intent of a heartfelt wish of a child translated into material form fashioned with her own fingers?
I sift thru other pieces....some from my Mother and grandmothers, some from sisters, husbands and lovers, some from friends long passed over or long disconnected but never forgotten. Their memories linger, brought again to mind every time I put on a piece of jewelry. There are no words but the tears I shed for these precious pieces. And the truly sad thing is that after I go...with the exception of a few pieces...they will all be junk in some garage sale or second hand shop. I pray that they find someone who feels the echos of the magic they brought to me.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR SOUL
Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms? However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.
He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confident and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times.
The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!
One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, "I now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone."
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company? “No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.
The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company? "No!" replied the 3rd wife. ?"Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I am sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.'' Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning, and the King was devastated.
Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"In truth, we all have these 4 wives in our lives:
Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we die.
Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.
Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
And our 1st wife is our Soul - often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of the God/dess.
Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.
Pass this on to someone you care about.
This is 1:09 Am Sunday Morning Texas time. The items in question in the garbage were a lawn mower and weed eater which don’t work. At the risk of offending people by not being PC (shhh…I’m not but I know how the game is played), most of the people about and around poking in your garbage at that hour are on crack. The odds go up because he was black. That’s what the statistics say. Do you believe every thing you hear or read as being “The Truth”? The odds say you’re wrong.
SISTER: To the jerk who decided to raid my garbage about half an hour ago thanks. I needed to have an adrenaline surge and get sick because you could not wait until daylight.
29 minutes ago via Facebook for iPhone ·
NIECE: Raid your garbage.....Thats just gross......EEEEWWWWW!!!!!
28 minutes ago
Kate Moonstone: It was worse ... they woke The Man up. He wasn't happy. It was a good thing he came back when he did. I was in my nightgown, bathrobe and bedroom slippers with my hair all wild getting up to get "The Bitch", which is exactly what is written on the baseball bat I keep behind my back door. LOL Winston told me he would be back in a few … he and Daddy were victorious so I sat back down and waited.
Back to the Breaking News
Now most people in the south just don’t do well with crazy old white women ... running at them and yelling. Guess there is just something about the night maybe too much watching by the young of Nightmare on Elm Street reruns or the new facination with Ghost Story/alien tales, but it scares the pee out of them. Sometimes literally. They for some reason upon seeing this apparition, just seem to in a word ... run.
Can you get a mental picture of how TWO crazy white women with The Man as back-up might appear? May I suggest that next time you bring your staff with you? PS: Um ... Sister? I heard you were um ... not nice to our midnight visitor. Goddess! Can you just see it? Look at it from his viewpoint. Here this person is ... raiding your garbage … oops l mean engaged in liberating and reclaiming unwanted items destined to be in landfill and recycling them. And he had the personal dignity to do it at dark while you slept so you were not disturbed by his necessity to make this kind of living but he’s an ‘artist’. Um …. shit and shinola as Nana used to say.
UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM (our vilain) : He chooses the domicile of our heroine …. Who takes it in her head to suddenly ---- “…. and this very pregnant woman comes at me - like man … out of the dark ... dogs are barking everywhere man” … you can hear him retelling it now …. (at last count there were 35 dogs on this one block alone).
Well Bubba ... let me let you in on a little secret. Not only was fate against you then …. you rellty fucked up. You woke up The Man. He’s worked more than 11 hours on his feet today. So what is the first sight that greats you after you messed up? A pregnant white woman ... one obviously hormonal .... and coming to add his 2 cents worth is The Man ... who you have not had the pleasure of meeting. May I say that you are lucky you survived.
TW Sister, The Man was um...impressed with your vocabulary. *Hugs *Grumbles to herself …. See what happens when you get old? Instead of being serenaded by music … you get a garbage thief waking you up after midnight. Go figure.
Recently my cousin posted on Facebook the following status…"no risk, no reward”. The subsequent replies sparked a train of thot in my little pea brain. (Maybe it was the spring cleaning bug which bit me and I blame Jackie and Crystal for infecting me. Suffice it to say that I now have a reorganized and clean garage/bone yard. How frightening is that?)
While the quote is not without merit I‘ve found it in my own experience not to be entirely true. As one gets older - as in life, one begins to perceives subtle nuances in those shades of black and white. One begins to notice grey. This phenomenon seems to correlate in intensity for each year one is still in this plane of existence. The older one becomes, the more one weighs the options.
In my own experience I've found that the amount of the reward directly corresponds to the amount of risk. Small risk...small reward. But contrarily while most may dismiss those few tentative moments of risk …that one first act can set someone's footsteps on the life path that they will follow. The first step taken and the elation at the reward, embolden - make one more daring. The next step is bigger…until finally one great day they soar on wings of their own making to their goal. So when you see those first few halting steps resist the tendency to be critical, (Goddess knows that is the one I fight against most---the Virgo in me) and instead give encouragement and praise. Acknowledge and celebrate the effort. There is far too little of that these days and our world has never needed it more.
We don't always realize the effect we have on other people. What is trivial to you may be momentous to others. It may be the pivotal moment they remember all of their lives, what motivates them to take that risk…to dare to be more and fulfill their potential, goals and dreams. And if they fall short…to motivate their little ones to aspire and to crawl towards that light. We don‘t always know the outcome…but the effort itself is worth the attempt….or is it?
Musing and Pondering
BreakfastMInnKe's SAT Word of the Day (a twofer)