About 2 years ago, I was on a cruise through the western Mediterranean
aboard a Cruise Ship. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone
along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed
that all the staff, ships officers, waiters,busboys, etc, all seemed very
familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to
be told she owned the line, but he said`he only knew that she had been on
board for the last four cruises, back to back.
As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say
hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the
last four cruises." She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't
understand." She replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a
nursing home."
There will be no nursing home in my future........When I get old and feeble,
I am going to get on a Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is
$200 per day. I have checked on reservations for a cruise and I can get a
long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves
$65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant,
or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every
day of the week).
3. The ship has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free
washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5
worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb needs changing? Need to have the mattress
replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
inconvenience
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for
them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If
you fall and break a hip on the ship they will upgrade you to a suite for
the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama
Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?
There will be a ship ready to go there. So don't look for me in a nursing
home, just call me shore to ship.
P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they can just dump you over the side -
at no charge.
Warm FuzziesThe Low Down On The Count Down
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