Those who know me well know that I've a dark side....an evil streak if you will.....most of us do if we admit it to ourselves and in many cases it is not evil but the other side of our public masks..   Under most conditions acquaintances will tell you that I am a good and even kind individual and to a great extent that is true.  Those who know me well will tell you that I have a backbone of steel, which often doesn't show itself on my own behalf but is more than evident when it concerns someone dear to me.  Those who have seen this implacable dark side of me will also tell you that I when necessary I can make your life a living hell and comiserate with you while it's happening.

Reason I mention this 'dark evil streak' is that the other day I went to visit my sister.  She was frothing over the cell phone bill and that is when I learned that 'the man' had gone over his limit in calling 'the other woman'.  The other night while we were out I was treated to her calling him and him calling her 'sweetheart' along with some other endearments (the car was moving) and as soon as he parked it (yes he continued to speak to her while I was in the vehicle), I opened the door, exited the vehicle (no even while sorely tempted I did NOT slam the truck door) and I went and sat on a chair by the door of where we were going.  I sat there for 10 minutes (yes I timed the call).  He acted like nothing had happened and we had a great time.

I am aware that he calls her and that she calls him.  Hell I even took his cell phone out to him when she was ringing him....and I can "see" it is her.  I give them their privacy as he gives me mine when I have to speak to my soon to be ex Thomas. I don't pry into his affairs or his personal life...he wants to share he shares what he wants with me.  Ditto on my end so it was rather an odd situation to find my sister frothing over t he minutes he used to call her.  I wrote her out a check with a comment that later on, when it was just the 2 of them she could tell him that I did it so he could talk to her.  And for those who think I was trying to manipulate him to an extent I guess I was....manipulate him to realize that I care so much that if it means that I must share him to be in his life....then I accept those terms. 

The man learned of my paying his portion of the bill.  His response?  "Of course...we are partners and we take care of each other".  So no it didn't work out quite like I anticipated.....but he also told me that he trusts me and that he doesnt trust her.  The man trusts me with his paycheck.  Trusts me to pay our joint expenses.  I keep a careful log in the event he ever asks where it went and what it was spent on....but I list my own expenses on a different page and I 'fudge' his because I'm spending on some things like medical, more than he makes. 

I do this because I want him to have his pride.  Its one of the few things no one has been able to completely take from him and plenty have tried, including the other woman.  All I want is a chance.....so yes......sleepless nights....and evil dangerous thots...because if she keeps yanking his chain and I have to be the one to see his agony than I may very well be past tempting to turn her karma back and shove it down her throat.