I’ve several ex lovers that during and afterwards was able to continue to maintain the friendship.  I’ve several lovers who I could spend an evening or a week in their arms for old times sake – because the love is still there – its just mutated into a different form…deeper and perhaps more based on the past than anything which could happen in the future – for with them – there is none.

I’ve some very bad devastating break ups – most notably with my abusive first husband Rod, and before that - Liam (for a completely different reason) – shame and guilt.  I was the love of his life even if I couldn’t  return it, and he died without me acknowledging what a gift that is.

I gave my daughter a flip answer on her blog but underneath it all I am concerned.  Some men (and women as well) manufacture a different reality of a relationship in their minds and have difficulty adjusting to reality.  Part of the reason they have been able to deal with stressful situations such as overseas duty, prison, etc., is precisely by creating a place in their heads…sometimes that includes someone who hasn’t a clue that they are staring in someone else’s fantasy. 

So yes I’m concerned about her meeting her ex alone.  Different men take rejection differently.  Some cry, some go cold or become nasty, some become angry, vindictive, some get even up to and including force.  Depends on the man and how important the fantasy has become.  So yes – I worry.  Some people are like oil and water – never mix.  Some like earth and water – make mud which hardens.  Some like dry grass and fire – smolder, flame and burn.  And some rare few - are magic.  It is my deepest wish that she find that at least once in her life.

I know that she will make her own mistakes.  I’d keep her from repeating mine as her own if I could – even while I know that they will help shape her into the woman she is fast becoming and will continue to become – and that those experiences will ultimately be the memories and experiences that will mark her life as she approaches the end of her days.  I’d like them to sit lightly on her and be remembered with a smile.  Either way – I will stand by her – even more when it’s a choice that I may not agree with or be pleased about – precisely because it IS her choice.  I respect her and love her far too much to do otherwise. 

And yes – Goddess help the man who hurts her – this witch has a long memory.